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The Longest Married Couple - the Groom Has Died

Wow - check this out:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/devon/8067752.stm

How long were they married? Hint: they have a 76 year-old (legitimate!) son.

Selma's Recovery

Many of you have inquired about my wife's health. Selma is doing well after a thyroidectomy last week. While all the tests have been negative (including after the surgery) - and no pain ever for Selma - the thyroid was growing and several opinions told us that it needed to come out.

It's been ... interesting being able to tell her to shut up all week while her voice is healing. She's actually done very well and has been a great patient. She's even taken my "shut-ups" rather well.

We have felt the prayers of friends and work associates and are grateful to our Lord and the prayer support of everyone. Considering the potential of what could have happened to her voice we are most thankful for a great recovery to this point.

Some time ago Selma was out of town on business. When she returned, Natalie, our youngest, made the following observation to her: "Mom, Daddy seems lost without you." When Selma told me that I thought "fair enough". I don't know that I could take that wrong if I tried. After 33 years she's a part of me for sure. And I AM lost without her around. Perhaps that's why the rollout bed beside hers at Baptist Hospital didn't really feel that bad last week!

A good week to you --

Golf with 3 Special Guys - Orchestrated by a Special Woman

Selma is one to celebrate. She always claims that the weekend of Mother's Day is "her" weekend. All weekend. Her birthday is not her birthday. The week of June 14 is her birthday week.

But I must say she does it with rest of the clan as well. This past week for example, it was my birthday week. She surprised me with a round of golf at a course I'd been wanting to play all my life - The Bear Trace at Harrison Bay State Park outside of Chattanooga. She set it up for me to play with a lot of her family. The seven of us that ended up playing had an amazing time together. Her family all play golf anyway so it was a natural thing.

In my foursome I played golf with the three most special men in my life. (Dad would have been on that list as well.) I played with Steve Vought - my best and long time friend from east TN (like a brother); Roy, my father-in-law (like my second dad); and David, my son-in-law (like my son).

The scenery at Harrison Bay was at times really breath-taking. Water flowed in and out of the course, just like my ball once flowed into the water. (It was the only ball I lost all day.)

When the round was through, I came out on top! I shot an 89, while David had a 90 and the other 5 had a little more than that. Of course they all said it was because it was my birthday that they let me win.

But it wasn't the score that mattered even though I'd only beaten everyone once or twice before - Robert, my brother-in-law (like a brother-in-law :-) usually shoots in the high 70's. It was the time together that was so great. It was playing with the most important men in my life that was so wonderful. in their own ways they are each such an inspiration to me. We got home, talked golf some, watched the Titans get beat, argued some theology - it was all so wonderful.

I am glad my wife knows how to celebrate. She wasn't even there when we played. That didn't matter to her. She got the blessing in being such a blessing. I continue to learn from my wife.

Lord, help me learn every day what you have for me to learn - from your Word, from speaking with you, and from my wife. Let me have more of a giving spirit that you have given her. She is such a blessing from you.

All of this happened when her surgery was coming up last Monday. She's doing fine. I'll give you the details tomorrow.

If you are married, I hope your spouse gives to you. If not, you can start the process by giving to her. Start simply and watch it grow. He/she may even respond. Take it from my wife's lifestyle - it is indeed more blessed to give than to receive.

Our Marriage Is 33 Years Old TODAY!

That's right - 33 years ago we were two young kids who might have been a little scared but very confident in getting married.

Today, we are still two young kids. (I guess love continues to be blind!) Okay, we are older kids but still very confident that God is in our marriage.

So what is the proper gift to get each other on the 33rd anniversary? You know, for one year it is paper, one is gold (50th), another silver (25th), another sapphire or rubies, etc. We know what the 33rd is without looking it up:

It is a SEPTIC TANK. Like the one above. That's what we are getting each other. (It's part of our remodeling plan for our home.)

I'm telling you, for a marriage enrichment couple - for a guy whose ministry title is Marriage and Family Enrichment - it just doesn't get any more romantic than that.

Actually, we have a trip planned soon. and we are planning on going out to a nice restaurant tonight - and think about anything BUT a septic tank!

Some anniversaries are more practical than others. This one we will remember for a long time.

"Happy Birthday, Jen", Wedding Reflections, and an Adaptation from Robert Frost

Happy Day to my older daughter, Jennifer. Happy "20-something", dear. I love you.

Recently I had the joy of doing two weddings in about 14 hours a few weeks ago. It was my first two-wedding weekend.

The first was on a Friday evening and a beautiful setting. Cedar Vine Manor. Outdoors with many groomsmen and bridesmaids along with a handsome couple. 200+ guests and a wonderful reception with many of our friends attending. Congratulations to the new Mr. and Mrs. Brad Decker. The bride was the former Ashley Espey. Her family folks are longtime friends of ours.

Then, Saturday morning I found myself at Cannonsburg, right smack dab in the middle of Murfreesboro. The early American log cabin village was the scene. The wedding of Mark Miller took and Kathy Rutherford place in the little chapel there. 45-50 guests total and they nearly packed the chapel. A complete opposite of the night before in that it was quaint, yet as elegant and as meaningful - and as handsome a couple - as I'd ever seen.

Congratulations to you two special people.

At the chapel that morning was another couple - a most inspiring twosome. She had been 92 for several months. He has just turned 92. And get this - this fall they will be married SEVENTY YEARS! WOW, what a privilege just to meet them and talk a bit at the reception. If Paul Harvey was still alive I'd send their names in for sure!

Bear with me as I borrow from Robert Frost:

Two couples married on a single weekend. Both love the Lord ...

... and THAT will make all the difference.

From Good to Great? Yes ... but also from Bad to Good!

I recently read this thought out of Stand Firm magazine, May 2009 issue, published by LifeWay. Take a look:

"What proportion of unhappily married couples who stick it out stay miserable? The latest data shows that within five years, just 12 percent of very unhappily married couples who stick it out are still unhappy; 70 percent of the unhappiest couples now describe their marriage as 'very' or 'quite' happy.

"Just as good marriages go bad, bad marriages go good. And they have a better chance of doing so in a society that recognizes the value of marriage than one that sings the statistically dubious joys of divorce."

Of course marriages of all types take work. Sometimes the work is hard. But when you are tired in your marriage, as I hear every week in my job, let these secular stats speak to you.

Hang in there! Sometimes it may seem like all you've got is to hang in there. Reread the above paragraph and take heart. The odds are in your favor.

Psalm 127:1 says "Unless the Lord builds a house, the builders labor over it in vain..." meaning, that God has to be in the mix of your marriage. Any other success will be shallow. Nevertheless, let the thought of the above stats encourage you to slow down, to catch your breath before making any rash statements or burning any bridges.

There are times when simply staying committed to your wedding day vows can be a powerful help to your marriage.

Speaking of Rick Springfield

Anybody remember Rick Springfield? The pop star from yesteryear? Not from my youth, mind you. Maybe in the 80's. One of his biggest hits was "Jessie's Girl". Now does he ring a bell?

Anyway, it was cool when I read in this past Sunday's paper about his marriage and family. He's got two sons in their 20's and a marriage that's 25-years old!

Now that's just plain cool!

He says of his wife, "She's still my best friend... We've worked at it."

Indeed is marriage work. Hard work at times. But well worth the effort.

I hope you know the Lord, Rick. It is far more important than a good marriage. However, I am proud of you for your attitude toward your own marriage. May you and Barbara be happy till death do you part.

Kudos (is that how you spell it?) for USA Weekend for publishing the brief line about Rick and his family. Such stories need to be more prevalent.

Who would have thought that I'd become a Rick Springfield fan after all these years? I'm just a sucker for strong marriages I guess.

Tsunami of Events Coming in 2009

Here they come. They seem like a long way off right now, but moving toward us, like a tsunami in the northern Pacific honing in on Hawaii - they are getting closer by the day.

Unlike the disasters the water tsunamis make, the one I am referring to is not bad news, just busy news. Here's what I mean.

I was reviewing my 2009 travel and speaking schedule with Susan, my assistant recently. It certainly looks to be another active year for Rodney and Selma in terms of speaking. Lots of stuff. Different stuff. In fact, the cool thing about it is the variety that of assignments. I think the Lord gives us that diversity just to keep us from getting bored.  (Or perhaps to keep us from being boring!)

Let's look at a sample of what's coming up and see if you know what I mean by diversity:  

Spring: I am doing two weddings: one for Chariti Law and one for Tyler Dulaney. These are both precious young ladies that I've known since they were kids They both grew up with our girls so they are like my 3rd ... and 4th daughters!

June/July - Camp Whatever counselor. I think Chris, David and Mel just ask me along so I can keep in touch with what it used to be like to be young! Actually, it is always an incredible time worshiping, encouraging, teaching and yes, counseling these kids.

July - Denver, CO -Selma and I are speaking at what is called the "International English Consultants Seminar". (Are you impressed, yet?) I think this is a group who distributes books world-wide. We spoke to them on Extraordinary Marriage 3-4 years ago. This time it's The Parent Adventure.

July  - LifePoint's Marriage Cruise to the Caribbean. This is a wonderful opportunity for marriage enrichment. We meet as a group each morning. Then, you can be on your own as a couple or spend time with other couples. It worked out great last year. NOTE: There is still availability if you are interested. Call Sabrina at just Cruisin' Plus for more info (833.0922, ext. 303).

August I am speaking on several family ministry seminars at a Texas Church Leadership Conference. It is somewhere in TX!(?). (Don't worry, I have a contact person, I'll find out where!)

September will find us leading Real Marriage at our church along with Selma and me hosting a one-day marriage conference called Marriage Design in Scottsdale, AZ.

October I will be back in TX for the LifeWay National Kids Conference.

Whew!

There are actually a few more states and events but you get the picture. Just look at the myriad of places, locations and topics we'll be doing. Oh and by the way, I still plan to do some work counseling and teaching at Lifepoint Church while Selma plans to continue as Associate VP at LifeWay, too!

Please do not let this come across as boasting, except in the Lord for His providing such opportunities for us. And for a wonderful church and LifeWay that support us in these "outside" activities.

Consider this listing as an "advance prayer concern" offering to you: for travel safety, strength, wisdom in preparing, and for articulation & confidence in delivery and any follow up counseling that may arise. We cannot do any of these alone. As Christ said in John 15: "Apart from me you can do nothing." That ought to keep any of us humble. It certainly does the trick for us. So please pray for us as this year unfolds.

So thanks for letting me "vent" the tsunami of events coming our way. As always, let me know what is going on with you that we can pray about.

Romance and Roses 2009 Pictures are Just a Click (or two) Away

I promised you some R&R pics. You can see them if you are on Facebook. (You know, by the way, that FB rules the world. At least that's what the latest issue of Fortune magazine tells us on its cover.)

Click on Facebook and look for my name for the Romance and Roses pics.

If you are not in a small group (and attend LifePoint) you are welcome to attend the marriage enrichment study Selma and I are leading on Sunday AM at 9PM, in the Hub. It will be going on for another 4-5 weeks.

Let's Look Back on the 10th Romance and Roses for a Moment ...

What an incredible evening of ... well ... just what we had intended for the evening to be -- laughter, fun, romance, delicious food, Charlie and Gina (read: more laughter!), a fine band doing Earth Wind and Fire, and yes, dancing, excellent entertainment (more laughter), some couple time - all under the umbrella of LifePoint, marriage and our Lord.

Here are some random remembrances:

As usual, Charlie and Gina Mitchell were their typically wonderful selves. Don't you just love the way they give out the prizes???

Scott and Carrie Newberg - Your story was just what our couples needed to hear. Isn't it awesome to see how the Lord can take something bad that happens in a marriage and turn it out for His glory. Praise to the Lord and thanks to the Newbergs for getting out of the old comfort zone and sharing what I know so many needed to hear. You were an encouragement to us all.

David Cox and the band were absolutely kicking! What a great way to kick off the 10th annual R&R with their sound. Thanks, David, for your work. You always work so hard on these marriage projects. I am so grateful.

Stephen Bargatze was everything I said he'd be, espcially "quirky". This illusionist/comedian was the best. Simply the best. The magic was ... magical, yet his humor was just as top-notch. His story of where he'd come from was touching. He could not have tied it in any better as he related it to his being faithful to his wife. Thanks, Stephen, for your love for Christ, for your wife and for marriage enrichment.  

All night Stephen picked on Pat Hood our senior pastor. What a good sport (and that's from a guy who loves to dish it out!). Pat's support of our marriage ministry is amazing.

And here are some folks who were behind the scenes who had to - and did - come through:

Ken and Linda Coggins - We are always grateful for the Coggins' support of our marriage ministry. And Linda, the door prizes you get for us are always just what is needed for Charlie and Gina to play off of. Thanks for your work and generosity to our ministry. Good luck in the marathon, Ken.

Susan Garland, my assistant, worked so hard with 1000+ details. Thanks for squeezing in "just one more couple"  - about 10 times over!

Larissa Reed - Spent over 30 hours developing, cutting out and painting (and re-painting - five times) the backdrop for our whole evening. THIRTY+ HOURS - WOW ! What a mind to create, and what a spirit to work so hard in getting it done. Thanks, Larissa. Awesome job.

Al Bell - Who built the backdrop's brace and infrastructure to hold it up. And it worked! (I was never in question with Al working on it!)

Brenda White - Table decorations. It was a joy to have Brenda back on the team. And to see Stephen get her up on stage for the Titanic scene was a hoot! Great tables, and you were a great sport with Stephen.

Gary and Melody Henderson - What hard-working spirits. Thanks to you two for caring about our marriage ministry at LifePoint and for the hard work selling tickets, greeting, setting up table decorations and so many more things. You are great on our team!

Phil and Natalie Wilson and Eddie and Megan Gonzalez - Thanks for all the ways you lend your input to our R&R this year. Our team is better with you on it.

A State of the Art audio/video/photgraphy crew that worked tirelessly (okay, maybe you did get tired, but you really didn't show it) in gettin' er done. Thanks so much guys. You are really the best.

I've said this before - on this blog when speaking of other marriage events - thanks to the Lord for letting us see another example of the Body of Christ working together, using our different gifts to lift Him up. He is Life and we've it demonstrated once again. Thanks, Lord for the Life you breathe into this work. You are the most amazing of all.

Finally, the R&R pics are coming they really are this time. I know what you're thinking, "Right, Rodney, and the check is in the mail." Check back on this site and you'll see.