Get a Room

A Coach's Primary Role: Influence

Several men on our church staff are little league coaches. So are a lot of other guys at LifePoint. I am proud of all of them. Many of them do not even have kids themselves in the game yet they give and give and give to these kids.

Of course they teach them a lot more than just football (or baseball, basketball, soccer - you fill in the blank). A lot of it is about influence. Encouraging a kid to do his best, reach his potential, building character, etc. Sometimes even sharing Christ with them. Basically being salt and light to these young players.

100 years ago I played football for the mighty Cleveland (Tennessee) High School Blue Raiders. (I just know you've heard of them!) I was a wide receiver. I keep up with them whenever I get to Cleveland to visit Mom.

A little history: when I played for CHS we had a 32 game winning streak. (I got a head concussion the game we had it broken!) I also played in a state championship game. We lost, but we got there. CHS also got back to state finals game - and won it THREE YEARS IN A ROW in the 90's. So we're not talking about a so-so program here.

The Blue Raiders have a new coach this year. His name is E.K. Slaughter. (Not a bad name for a head coach, huh? SLAUGHTER!) Haven't met Coach Slaughter but he made me proud of him and my alma mater this week with a quote in Cleveland's newspaper.

There was a two-page spread of quotes from all the high school team's coaches just as the season was beginning. Many were saying "We're gonna win the state championship this year" and stuff like that.

Here was E.K. Slaughter's quote:

"What you do is go to school and play football. Who you are is eventually going to be a husband and father, a family man. Our No.1 goal is to create better fathers and husbands."

WOW! Not a bad start for the new coach.

I am pulling for you this season, Coach Slaughter. But whether you win a single game or not, your players are going to have a good season with you and that kind of philosophy influencing them.

 

Selma's Recovery

Many of you have inquired about my wife's health. Selma is doing well after a thyroidectomy last week. While all the tests have been negative (including after the surgery) - and no pain ever for Selma - the thyroid was growing and several opinions told us that it needed to come out.

It's been ... interesting being able to tell her to shut up all week while her voice is healing. She's actually done very well and has been a great patient. She's even taken my "shut-ups" rather well.

We have felt the prayers of friends and work associates and are grateful to our Lord and the prayer support of everyone. Considering the potential of what could have happened to her voice we are most thankful for a great recovery to this point.

Some time ago Selma was out of town on business. When she returned, Natalie, our youngest, made the following observation to her: "Mom, Daddy seems lost without you." When Selma told me that I thought "fair enough". I don't know that I could take that wrong if I tried. After 33 years she's a part of me for sure. And I AM lost without her around. Perhaps that's why the rollout bed beside hers at Baptist Hospital didn't really feel that bad last week!

A good week to you --

Golf with 3 Special Guys - Orchestrated by a Special Woman

Selma is one to celebrate. She always claims that the weekend of Mother's Day is "her" weekend. All weekend. Her birthday is not her birthday. The week of June 14 is her birthday week.

But I must say she does it with rest of the clan as well. This past week for example, it was my birthday week. She surprised me with a round of golf at a course I'd been wanting to play all my life - The Bear Trace at Harrison Bay State Park outside of Chattanooga. She set it up for me to play with a lot of her family. The seven of us that ended up playing had an amazing time together. Her family all play golf anyway so it was a natural thing.

In my foursome I played golf with the three most special men in my life. (Dad would have been on that list as well.) I played with Steve Vought - my best and long time friend from east TN (like a brother); Roy, my father-in-law (like my second dad); and David, my son-in-law (like my son).

The scenery at Harrison Bay was at times really breath-taking. Water flowed in and out of the course, just like my ball once flowed into the water. (It was the only ball I lost all day.)

When the round was through, I came out on top! I shot an 89, while David had a 90 and the other 5 had a little more than that. Of course they all said it was because it was my birthday that they let me win.

But it wasn't the score that mattered even though I'd only beaten everyone once or twice before - Robert, my brother-in-law (like a brother-in-law :-) usually shoots in the high 70's. It was the time together that was so great. It was playing with the most important men in my life that was so wonderful. in their own ways they are each such an inspiration to me. We got home, talked golf some, watched the Titans get beat, argued some theology - it was all so wonderful.

I am glad my wife knows how to celebrate. She wasn't even there when we played. That didn't matter to her. She got the blessing in being such a blessing. I continue to learn from my wife.

Lord, help me learn every day what you have for me to learn - from your Word, from speaking with you, and from my wife. Let me have more of a giving spirit that you have given her. She is such a blessing from you.

All of this happened when her surgery was coming up last Monday. She's doing fine. I'll give you the details tomorrow.

If you are married, I hope your spouse gives to you. If not, you can start the process by giving to her. Start simply and watch it grow. He/she may even respond. Take it from my wife's lifestyle - it is indeed more blessed to give than to receive.

"Happy Birthday, Jen", Wedding Reflections, and an Adaptation from Robert Frost

Happy Day to my older daughter, Jennifer. Happy "20-something", dear. I love you.

Recently I had the joy of doing two weddings in about 14 hours a few weeks ago. It was my first two-wedding weekend.

The first was on a Friday evening and a beautiful setting. Cedar Vine Manor. Outdoors with many groomsmen and bridesmaids along with a handsome couple. 200+ guests and a wonderful reception with many of our friends attending. Congratulations to the new Mr. and Mrs. Brad Decker. The bride was the former Ashley Espey. Her family folks are longtime friends of ours.

Then, Saturday morning I found myself at Cannonsburg, right smack dab in the middle of Murfreesboro. The early American log cabin village was the scene. The wedding of Mark Miller took and Kathy Rutherford place in the little chapel there. 45-50 guests total and they nearly packed the chapel. A complete opposite of the night before in that it was quaint, yet as elegant and as meaningful - and as handsome a couple - as I'd ever seen.

Congratulations to you two special people.

At the chapel that morning was another couple - a most inspiring twosome. She had been 92 for several months. He has just turned 92. And get this - this fall they will be married SEVENTY YEARS! WOW, what a privilege just to meet them and talk a bit at the reception. If Paul Harvey was still alive I'd send their names in for sure!

Bear with me as I borrow from Robert Frost:

Two couples married on a single weekend. Both love the Lord ...

... and THAT will make all the difference.

Birthday, Movie and Biking Weekend

We had a memorable weekend. My wife turned another year ... better. Sunday was Selma's birthday so we did the whole weekend thing. Now it's gonna sound like we are major movie fanatics, which we are not. We go once in a while but sometimes we go in binges. (Like two.)

Here are some excerpts from our weekend:

FRIDAY NIGHT - We went to see "Up" the movie. It was a cool animated story with a strong marriage underlining the entire movie. Lots of fun. Clean and creative story line. You would enjoy it.

SATURDAY NIGHT - We wanted to see "Night at the Museum 2" but guess what: we hadn't see the first one. So we search all of Rutherford County looking to rent #1 and couldn't find it anywhere. So, we did an impulsive thing (a rarity for us), we went to Best Buy and bought it and watched it that night. Another strong movie in that it was clean and innovative. I had flashbacks of Jumanji when I saw Robin Williams and all those animals running around everywhere.

Now we are ready for NATM #2, if only we can get back to the theater before it is taken off the big screen ...  

SUNDAY - After worship the family gave our gifts to Selma over a birthday lunch. Then, Selma and I loaded up our bikes (30th wedding anniversary gifts from 3 years ago) and headed to Brentwood to conquer another Greenway. We rode for close to an hour and never got anywhere near to the end of the trails. Not only are they long, they are growing!

I gotta say, that is one Gorgeous Greenway. At times I felt like I was in the Smokies! Plenty of hills to keep you awake, but some awesome and shady beauty. I will have fun running on that Greenway, perhaps when I am training for a longer run (another marathon?) this fall ... with Selma biking beside me.

Running update:

I just passed 300 miles for the year. PTL! Doing 4-5 milers, trying to build up after the calf debacles. Feeling well now. Selma did bike with me while I ran Saturday for 4 miles. She liked it and so did I (especially when she had water for me at mile 2!)

Let Me Brag ...

Let me tell you about last Saturday, April 11, and my family. It was a memorable day for sure.

In preparation for the half marathon in a couple of weeks, David and I ran an 11 miler.

Well, Jennifer is also training for that run. She ALSO ran 11 miles! It was her longest run ever.

Natalie, not to be outdone, and who has been picking up her miles lately, ran 7 miles that day. That was also her longest run ever.

And Selma, also not to be outdone, walked 2 miles and biked 4.

Put that all together and we exercised an amazing FORTY-SIX MILES ! ! !

I am boasting in the Lord for giving us such an active family, but WOW, that was quite a day.

I am sure to talk with you about the Country Music Half Marathon in a couple of weeks. After all, you can't keep a runner from bragging. You ought to know that if you 've read this blog long enough!

One Final Thought ... on Oklahoma?

 

Selma and I will be traveling to Oklahoma son for a conference on parenting. We ask and trust that you will pray for us that we have wisdom to lead these church leaders in encouraging and informing them on how to have a more effective parent ministry. We are humbled for the opportunity.

 

Have a blessed week, and let me know if you are doing the half (or the full) at Country Music this year.

Tale of Two Daughters ... and a Son ... and a Wife ... and Me!

We have great kids. But please, before you move on to something else on the web, hear me out. It's just an innocent update on them. Consider it a little longer than a Status Statement on Facebook. I promise not to gloat (too much)!

Natalie has just gotten her certification as a CNA - a Certified Nurse Assistant. This was a 5-week crash course she took recently to get her more into the medical field. Her exposure and experience will no doubt not hurt her chances of getting accepted into the Physician Assistant school she is desiring.

How proud I am of her!

I got to see her for just a quick day Friday as her boyfriend had a job interview in Nashville.

Jennifer has been with her husband David all week in Brazil, with 22 students ministering to kids and adults, sharing Christ with them in the favelas (slums) outside of Sao Palo. They get back, Lord willing, tomorrow (Sunday AM) after an all-night flight home. Please pray for their safe return and for those kids to process all they need to retain from this amazing experience.

How proud I am of them as well!

And then there's, Selma, my wife. The one in whom I am the proudest! In addition to her full-time work at LifeWay, she has been leading this Beth Moore study with a group of ladies for a series of Tuesday nights. They just ended their study with a retreat all together last night. For some unknown reason, she's taking a nap this afternoon. I guess girls will be girls just like boys will be boys in a setting like that - in that I bet they didn't get a lot of sleep last night!

And me? Compared to what all my dear family has been doing lately, I am prone to think of my favortie all-time comedian, Johnny Carson (I still miss Carson) used to say after his side-kick, Ed McMahon would tell him all that Ed had planned for the weekend. Then, Ed would ask him, "And what about you? What are you doing this weekend?" Johnny would reply with something dry like, "I'm going to rearrange my sock drawer."

That's about it for me. This weekend I'll be watching my NCAA bracket continue to go down the tubes and rearranging my sock drawer.

Did I say that I still missed Carson? There was none better.

Another Page Turned

(Editorial note: Please excuse the erratic font changes. I think my blog site is going through menapause!)

 

There's an old, old poem simply called "Home", by Edgar Guest that my pastor recited in several messages when I was just a kid. It contains the following lines:

Ye've got t' love each brick an' stone from cellar up t' dome:
It takes a heap o' livin' in a house t' make it home.

Last week Mom's house sold. A true miracle! So quickly and without us having to fix up major things on it. Amazing is not overstating it! But with that miracle came a rather quick need to "work through" all her stuff. We (my brother and his family, mom herself, and my own family) went through Mom's house to take a final look at what we wanted and what we needed to throw away and what we needed to sell, and what she could take to her assisted living residence, which she loves buy the way. ("General disposal" sounds way too cold and calculating.)

I've heard of people doing this. Even told them "we'll be thinking of you" while they did that and imagined that would probably be a difficult thing to do.

Wow. Talk about underestimating something! I will never again "pray lightly" for someone going through that time. We moved into that house when I was 12. Now I am less than 2 years away from my senior discount in some restaurants! 40 plus years. And a heap of living.

This was a challenge to say the least, but we got through it in amazing fashion. But for a hopelessly nostalgic person like me (and my mom), this was a tall order. Mom did awesome. She turned 85 last week and continues to amaze us in her strength. To see all of your "worldy goods" just ... gone ... in one day's time would be a little overwhelming for anyone, but she got through it well. God has been gracious to give her His grace and strength for sure.

Three things come to mind when I reflect back on that day:

1) My brother and I got along amazingly well. I have a good relationship with Joe, but this could have been a tough day with him, as stressful as things naturally were. As I told him at the end of the day, "Joe, fueds have been started in families over what we had to do today and yet, we've done this without any disagreement at all." He agreed that God had been with us in this process. Everyone's spirit was so positive and giving to each other when deciding what to do with this set of dishes or that table. If and when you have to go through this - it might be 20-30 years from now or around the corner - I wish you the same family harmony that we experienced.

 

2) There had indeed been a heap of living in that house.

For example, I first "learned" how to hit a golf ball - in the front yard. Finally got hold of that ball and caught it just right to send it flying - right into the front window of our living room. The ball burst throught the window and literally rolled through the LR floor into the kitchen, right up to mom's feet. Part of the heap.

Or playing the piano in the living room to try and muster up some courage before going on a big date or the prom. Learning to play Jerry Lee Lewis on that LR piano. (Then, meeting Jerry Lee one night when he actually came to Cleveland and exchanging "piano talk" with him.) Part of the heap.

I signed a football scholarship to Florida State University in that living room. Part of the heap.

 

3) The final thing I learned and will remember is that all of it will eventually "go". All of it. Last May my Dad  took nothing with him into the next life except the only thing he really needed: a strong knowledge of His Father through Jesus Christ. Mom now has probably 5% of the material possessions she "owned" a week ago.

One man asked another at the funeral of a rich, rich man, "How much did he leave?" The other replied, "All of it."

As I look at my own junk at my own home, I feel the need to let some of it go along the way. And the other "special" stuff? Not to take it too seriously. For it will be among the "all of it" that I will leave behind. It just doesn't matter.

As Pat Hood reminded us in his message last week, Proverbs 18:11 warns us of the impression that a rich man has:

 

The wealth of the rich is their fortified city;

    they imagine it an unscalable wall.

 

They imagine it as such, but it is so not so.

 

Forgive my personal ramblings, but I wanted to share with you of another crucial page in my life that has now been turned. As it turns I am once again aware that kings and kingdoms - and things and thingdoms - may all pass away but Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. (See Hebrews 13:8)

 

Join me in putting our hope and trust in the One Who will last forever.

 

 

 

This and That

My brother took my mom to see Dad's headstone at Chattanooga National Cemetery the other day. It really is a cool place. It was created in the 1860's and has some fascinating historic gravesites there, (not to mention my dad's now!) Mom was proud of the place where dad's body was laid. Who wouldn't be? It is 120 acres and as of last year had 45,000 gravestones!

I wish I could tell you that my Dad's stone was like the prominent one in the pic above. However, it more closely resembles one of the small ones like below.

I'll tell you my overeall version of Camp Whatever in a few days, but let me just share about the breakout seminar I led. It was called Think Parents. I just wanted to encourage the kids to encourage their parents as they live life with them. 

I told them that Jesus said the greatest among you must be your servant. From there, it's not a far stretch to say that every time a dad goes to work to support his family - even when he doesn't want to go to work (but goes anyway) - he's serving the kid. That connected with all 6 times I led this seminar. I told them that greatness was living right with them under their roof. I then told them to tell their parents that they were great and to explain what that meant.

So, on my way back from camp on Friday I drove through Chattanooga. Of course I stopped at the cemetery. It is a great place to talk to the Lord, collect my thoughts, and yes, talk to Dad.

And I thanked Dad for being great. Was he ever a servant! I thanked him for serving our country, which is why he was buried in that particular cemetery. I thanked him for serving his family by responsibly providing for us. And I thanked him for serving his God which became my God through his and mom's example.

No question. I was blessed by true greatness living under the same roof with me.

How about you? Are you modeling greatness for your kids? Not perfection mind you, but true greatness. I hope so. It's not that difficult. Just deny yourself a few thousand times a day. In other words, you can do it with the strength of Christ and Him alone. Lean on Him. Let Him build a great home for you through the greatness of your parental service.

 

Can I Become the Spiritual Leader of the Home?

As men, we have a need for the Lord in our lives. Duh. Of course we do, but why? What does that mean?

Others can see the Lord in us if we have His mind, His wisdom. Especially our family. Here are some scriptures that can maybe make some sense of this:

1) Proverbs 22:4a says that the result of humility is the fear of the Lord.

2) Proverbs 9:10a tells us "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom".

3) James 1:5 tells us to ask for wisdom, but with a humble spirit.

Here's the bottom line:

Out of wisdom comes

growth in Him,

the strength to struggle through an issue,

the tenacity to keep pursuing the Lord,

the clarity to know how to be the spiritual leader of the wife and home,

the insight to know that "spiritual leader" means being the "leading servant" of the home,

the confidence and courage to act as a spiritual leader should act  not perfectly, but lovingly and humbly.

Want to be spiritual leader of the home? Go for it! Yes, you can do it! Becoming spiritual leader of the home is quite do-able. Fear the Lord. Ask humbly for His wisdom in how to be the best servant leader. Seek Him (Jeremiah 29:13 - look it up!) then get ready. Your image in the family is about to improve not to mention the potential for other intimate parts of your marriage to improve as well!